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Waking up today felt different than it has for quite some time. I would be lying if I said I felt “refreshed”, but I definitely did not feel like a literal or metaphorical sack of shit…that is always a plus. I did not get to sleep at a decent time, but I was able to set my alarm for 9:00 this morning. I was also able to hit the snooze button about 4 times after that. Bless you, snooze button.

I didn’t have time to make any breakfast, so I had a quick shake just to avoid wanting to kill myself by 10:30 a.m. I recently moved to an apartment about 5 minutes from my work, so mornings are now amazing. I had a 40 minute drive to work before. For those of you at home keeping score: 40min is WAY more than 5min. Pulling in to work, I noticed a crowd of about 10 people outside smoking and talking. This 10 person group, in MY HEAD, is this group of judgemental, in-shape, fashionistas, just waiting to critique someone as they walk into work. Waiting to judge the awkward walk and disposition of a fellow co-worker. Waiting to guess what sort of horribly unhealthy meal this person walking in must have had the night before, based solely off the snug fit of¬†their Haggar slacks. These are, of course, all of my own perceptions of myself, just projected in that way.

Keep in mind, this is just how I¬†imagined this group of people to be. This group may have really been a group of three people, each of them 300 pounds and eating a Jumbo Jack with cheese whilst smoking…I would not have seen that. It could be 12:30am and I will avoid going to Wal-Mart because that same group must be shopping there after midnight. That is rational, right? Man, oh man.

So…after 10 minutes of sitting in my car, thus making myself late, I strolled in to work. I had to call a friend beforehand, so that I could be on the phone while walking in, distracted from my surroundings. She was my communicative escort to my cubicle, so thanks.

Hopefully writing about the most irrational, abnormal moments I have throughout my days dealing with anxiety (amongst other things) will help me get past it. Easier said than done, but maybe some people out there can relate or, if nothing else, get some enjoyment from it. Well, lunch time… “Wasabi & Soy Sauce” flavored almonds, what what whaaat?